Honey Singh recounts battling bipolar disorder in Netflix documentary: I saw hell

A still from ‘Yo Yo Honey Singh: Famous’
| Photo Credit: Netflix

Rapper and singer Yo Yo Honey Singh revisited his struggles with bipolar disorder in the new Netflix documentary on his life.

Yo Yo Honey Singh: Famous began streaming on Netflix on Friday (December 20). In the 80-minute documentary, which charts the highs and lows of Singh’s career, the Punjab-born, New Delhi-raised rapper talks about his unravelling at the peak of his fame.

“It’s bipolar disorder with psychotic symptoms,” Singh, who withdrew from public life in 2014-2015 due to health concerns, shares in the film.

“My brain would overwork and spiral out of control. It’s like your dreams are playing out in real. You think random, unrelated things. Even the househelp would scare me. I would think she is laughing at me. If she was cleaning, I felt she was wiping blood off the floor. I thought I’d never be able to meet my parents again. I felt I will be trapped.”

He adds, “People say “I have been through hell”. I saw hell. I saw death, I wished for death every day. I would just spend my days sleeping, crying, and not meeting anyone. I would stare at the moon, and how it changes every night. I used to think I must have been staring at the moon for 6-7 hours but it would only be 15 minutes. My days would not come to an end. I used to stay in a room. I used to feel that somebody was going to die. I thought perhaps I was going to die.”

In his uninhibited style, he remarks, “This is a mother***** of a disease.”

Bipolar disorder (BD) is a mental health condition that generates extreme mood swings and erratic behaviour. In the documentary, Singh recounts feeling paranoid while touring with Shah Rukh Khan in America. “I started getting suspicious symptoms that someone was staging a conspiracy against me to trap me and file a case against me. I didn’t understand what was happening,” he says.

Singh has also spoken about his addiction to drugs and alcohol and how it affected his mental health and family life.

(Those in distress or having suicidal thoughts, please reach out to these 24/7 helplines: KIRAN 1800-599-0019 or Arogya Sahayavani at 104 for help).